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Coping with the Anger Stage of Grief

1/22/2024

Anger that is not controlled or dealt with may be damaging to health and personal life. Angeleena May, Executive Director at AMFM Healthcare shares some strategies that can help you cope with the anger stage of grief. Some are a repeat of things mentioned earlier. This is intentional.

Don’t ignore your feelings. Suppressing your feelings causes them to come out in less desirable ways. Allow yourself space to feel angry before the anger escalates to outward aggression. But how?
Allow yourself to feel the loss. Find an emotionally safe place, either with a supportive friend or by yourself. Allow yourself fifteen to twenty minutes each day to grieve. Switch off your phone. This time is a safety valve. It’s an opportunity to deal with any feelings that have been stored up. How you use it is up to you.
Express yourself through art, journaling, poetry, singing, playing an instrument or other non-verbal outlets. Talk to your listener.

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The Different Faces of Anger

1/19/2024

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Before I share some ideas on how to deal with anger, I think it is important for you to realize that anger can be manifested in different ways. It may not always be clear that the cause is unresolved anger.

Here are some emotions where anger may be the underlying problem.
   Frustration
   Impatience
   Irritability
   Resentment
   Loss of control
   Pessimism
   Cynicism

Here are some thoughts or words that may have anger as the underlying problem.
   “This isn’t fair.”
   “Why is this happening to me?”
   “I am to blame for this” or “Someone is to blame for this”
   “How could God let this happen”
   “No one understands”
   “They deserve to pay”
   “I want revenge”

Or these actions:
   Being short-tempered and emotionally unstable
   Being verbally or physically aggressive
   Self-harming
   Neglecting personal hygiene
   Using substances such as nicotine, alcohol, or drugs

When you know that anger is the cause, you will be better able to deal whether these kind of emotions, words or actions.

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Anger, Vengeance and God

1/15/2024

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It is hard to prevent anger from overwhelming us. Uncontrolled and unresolved anger is destructive. What does God suggest?
He tells us to remember that he will deal with those who have caused our loss. Part of his solution is to let Him be responsible for vengeance. He is the only one who can ensure that justice will be served. Read the passages that follow carefully and let God talk to you.
“‘Is not this laid up in store with me, sealed up in my treasuries? Vengeance is mine, and recompense, for the time when their foot shall slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and their doom comes swiftly.’
For the LORD will vindicate his people and have compassion on his servants, when he sees that their power is gone and there is none remaining, bond or free. Deuteronomy 32:34-36
For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. Hebrews 10:30-31
Romans 12:14-21 (ESV) 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Release your desire to avenge. Trust God to do what is best. Overcome evil with good. I know this is difficult to accept and do. But it is God’s solution.

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Stage 3 of the Grief Journey - Anger

1/11/2024

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It is not uncommon for someone who is grieving to experience feelings of anger, frustration and resentment toward those responsible for the loss or toward God. Some may even experience anger toward the lost loved one and blame that person for leaving them.
Like all other emotions, anger has a purpose as part of how God created us. Emotions provide us with the physical energy and drive needed to try to escape danger and get help. Anger is a control-seeking behaviour that allows us to seek temporary control of our environment.
It is normal to feel anger in times of loss, but often people try to keep this stage of grief hidden.
“Anger is a difficult emotion to deal with and others may suggest it should be suppressed,” says grief counsellor Nathan MacArthur. “But it is important to release anger in an appropriate way. God does not deny the existence of anger but he gives a warning.
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27
“in your anger, do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent” (Psalm 4:4).
God expressed his own anger. The prophets and psalmists expressed anger. How we can deal with our anger without sinning will be discussed in future insights.

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Things to Do During the Journey

1/4/2024

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After a look at how trauma affects the holidays, we return to the various stages of the grief journey. As you move from one stage to another, certain things will help you.
We have already mentioned the importance of taking time each day (at least 20 - 30 minutes) so that you are not interrupted. Let yourself cry if you can or grieve in other ways. Tears are often a sign of strength and show that you’re prepared to work through your grief.

We have also talked about the importance of talking to someone you trust. If there are others with similar experiences you might think of creating a support group.

Keeping a diary is another good thing. Write down your feelings about your loss, as well as your memories of what you have lost. Even a word, or a phrase on a single sheet of paper if that is all you can manage. This is a great way to track how your grief is changing with time and can help reassure you that you’re making progress.

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SWIRLS OF NURTURE

Coping with the Anger Stage of Grief

The Different Faces of Anger

Anger, Vengeance and God

Stage 3 of the Grief Journey - Anger

Things to Do During the Journey

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