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Managing Your Expectations

4/19/2024

I have no idea at what stage of this exhausting journey you will be when you read this. Many grieving people have unrealistic expectations about how quickly they should arrive at the neighbourhood of new hope. When it takes much longer than expected and involves more hard work than imagined, they sometimes experience a loss of self-confidence and self-esteem.

This well-known promise from the Bible does not have any deadlines attached to it.
"But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." ~ Isaiah 40:31

We do not know how long we need to wait. If you’re feeling doubtful or hopeless at whatever stage you are in, ask yourself questions like, “Have I mistakenly given myself a deadline for when I should be over my grief? Am I expecting myself to heal more quickly than is possible?”

**If the answer to such questions is yes, you may be hindering your own healing by expecting too much of yourself too soon.**

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Signs that you are Healing

4/13/2024

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As you progress in your grief journey you may wonder whether any healing is taking place. Here are a few signs that healing is indeed taking place.

A recognition of the reality and finality of death and loss.
An understanding that the pain of loss is inseparable from the privilege of giving and receiving love.
The understanding that you do not get over your grief but instead learn to live in a new reality
Accepting the way things are, rather than attempting to make things as they were
A return to stable eating and sleeping patterns
Thoughts of your loss no longer preoccupy your thinking.
The establishment of new and healthy relationships
The capacity to live without feelings of guilt or lack of self-respect
The drive to organize and plan your life for the future
Welcoming change in your life
The awareness that you have survived and that full grieving and mourning are behind you
A sense of renewed meaning and purpose

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Life in the New Neighbourhood

4/8/2024

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In this new neighbourhood, we become reconciled to grief. We accept the reality of our loss. We not only understand it mentally, but we also accept it emotionally and spiritually. It is a deep inner acknowledgement that pain and grief are difficult yet necessary parts of life.

If you had not loved, you would not be experiencing the pain of grief. Whatever the loss, the love for what you lost is still there. But you are still here. As long as you love, you will feel pain. But now you will grow in your understanding that you have an unknown number of precious days left on this earth to honour that love. You have time to find ways to love others—and yourself—even better than you did in the past.

It is time to comfort others just as you have been comforted.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble” (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4).

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SWIRLS OF NURTURE

Managing Your Expectations

Signs that you are Healing

Life in the New Neighbourhood

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