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Peter's Guilt

11/25/2023

I think Peter suffered from survivor’s guilt. He survived a traumatic event—the death of his Lord and Saviour. He and the other disciples at first went into hiding, thinking they would be the next ones arrested for their faith. Peter had acted like a coward when courage was needed. As he looked into Jesus’ eyes he knew that his denial of Jesus was wrong, but he did it anyway. He knew he did not deserve to have survived.

Then Jesus met him and asked him three times if he loved him.
He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. John 21:17

Three times to match the three denials. Jesus offered complete forgiveness and countered Peter’s guilt.

Christ did not dwell on the past but focussed on the future. He said, “Don’t worry about the past. You have survived because I have a job for you to do.”

I believe this is God’s message for every person struggling with the guilt of being a survivor.

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Dealing with Survivor's Guilt

11/22/2023

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After having been sheltered from pain by shock, it is normal to not only feel pain but also guilt. Medical professionals call it “survivor’s guilt”. This is the guilt you feel when you survive disaster while others do not, or that you suffered less than others. It is the feeling you don’t deserve to survive. Or, worse yet, you think you did something wrong by surviving. It is recognized as a symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

During this stage, it is normal to wonder if you could have done something that would have prevented the loss. It is normal to think about something you could have or should have done, even if it's irrational.

You should not feel guilty because what happened to you was God’s decision. Read these verses carefully.
You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. (Psalm 139:16, NLT)

You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer. Job 14:5

God cares for you. God has a purpose for the remainder of the days given to you. Any guilt you feel about surviving is false guilt.

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A Two-Way Street

11/21/2023

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You can also be a listener to others. When you realize how much you were helped by having a good listener listen to you, you may want to give the gift of listening to others.

Being a listener will also be healing for you when you realize that you are not the only one experiencing trauma. It will give you an understanding of God at work despite the trauma. As you compare your experience with another person’s experience, you may find things you can be thankful for. Being a listener is another way in which you can “keep your heart so that springs of life can flow again”. (Proverbs 4:23)

The Bible describes this two-way street.
Let us give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the merciful Father, the God from whom all help comes! He helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3–4.

As we are comforted, we become a source of healing to others. Talking and listening is the two-way street on which healing flows.

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Four Questions to Answer

11/15/2023

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I hope you have found a good listener. But you may not be sure what you should talk about or your listener may not be sure how to draw out your thoughts (Proverbs 20:5)
Here are four simple questions both of you can use.
1. What happened?
2. How did you feel?
3. What was the hardest part for you?
4. Who or what helped you to start feeling safe?
Talking about your experience is one way of “keeping your heart’.
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 20:5

The word “keep” means to “guard, protect, take care of”.
Don’t try to answer all the questions at the same time. Take the time you need for each question. Don’t let anyone pressure you to tell your story if you don’t feel comfortable or ready to do so. The whole process may spread over days, weeks or months.

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Little by Little

11/10/2023

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You need to express your pain. Even Jesus shared his pain with his friends.

And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me. Matthew 26:37-38

Don’t feel that you need to tell everything right away. It is best to tell your story little by little over time. Think of your emotions and feelings like a bottle of soda that has been shaken. You may need to let out the fizz little by little to keep it from overflowing. Since sharing and listening can be emotionally draining for you and your listener, both of you need to be honest and open about how much you can handle in one session.

You may also need to retell part or all of your story till you can begin to accept and understand what has happened. Listen to your feelings and repeat as necessary.

Telling your story may sound so simple that you may question its value. However, it will help you heal.

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SWIRLS OF NURTURE

Peter's Guilt

Dealing with Survivor's Guilt

A Two-Way Street

Four Questions to Answer

Little by Little

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