Dealing with Endless Questions

During the holidays we have contact with many people.  Everyone wants to know how we are doing.  Their questions, while well-intentioned, can wear us out as we repeat the same emotionally draining responses.  Sometimes people want to take control of your healing process by giving advice. 

H. Norman Wright has a suggestion. a certified grief therapist and trauma specialist and author of over seventy books he experienced the death of his wife and son. He suggests that you write a grief letter.  Send it to family and friends or carry copies with you to pass out to people as needed.  Or give it someone at an event who can share this information on your behalf. Even if you don’t hand it out, writing it out will help you speak more effectively when you need to talk about what is happening.

It should contain four basic steps

1. Briefly describe your experience and feelings.
2. Let people know what they can expect from you.
3. Tell them what they can do, what you find comforting. Also share what is not comforting.
4. List specific, practical needs they can help with.

I will share a sample in the next insight.