Stage 1 of the Grief Journey - Shock and Denial

Emotions are so intense, raw, extreme, overwhelming and powerful in the first stage that denial seems the only possible response.

This is the time when people experience a ‘mental fog’ that can include forgetfulness, lack of concentration, lack of motivation, repetitive thoughts, a general numbness and inability to make a decision. Many people also experience physical symptoms such as nausea or vomiting, difficulty sleeping, decreased appetite, or heart palpitations.

People often say, “It felt like a dream. It just could not be true.” “I was there but yet I felt like I was not present.”  “I managed to do what needed to be done but I didn’t feel a part of it.” “I felt like I was watching someone else’s life in a video.”

David experienced the shock of trauma..
Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also.
For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away.  Psalms 31:9-10

Notice that he talks about ‘years’.  He understood grief to be a long journey.

But David offers hope in this Psalm.
I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul, Psalms 31:7

I encourage you to read and meditate on Psalm 31 during if you are in this stage of shock and denial. Take comfort in knowing that God sees your distress and pain.