Coping With the Bargaining Stage

Dr. Sabrina Romanoff shares some strategies to cope with the bargaining stage of grief. Her strategies will sound familiar because they are similar to coping with anger. 


1) Realize that bargaining is a normal response and a way to hang on to hope. Try to accept it as such. Give it time. Bargaining tends to decrease over time as acceptance of reality starts to sink in. Sometimes we lose hope because progress is so slow. I know the feeling my nephew had during the three years it took for him to recover from a traumatic event. There were months when there was seemingly no progress. Many of the techniques shared in these insights were helpful in providing a full recovery.


2) Try to break the cycle of ruminating over bargaining thoughts. This is similar to breaking the cycle of feelings of anger or bargaining statements. Write down your feelings, wishes, and bargains. Then read what you have written. This will give you a bit of distance from your situation and thoughts, especially as time goes by.  You will be amazed at how this helps you get a different perspective. 


3) The cycle can also be broken if you make an effort to shift your focus from what you can’t control to anything you can control. No matter how small, there are things that you can control or impact. Focus on these things. Perhaps you can make one of your “If only . . statements” a possibility for someone else.